i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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