she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
