There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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