Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
