I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
