Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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