Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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