shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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