i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
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