we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
