We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
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Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
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How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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