you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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