just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
