he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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