Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
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I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
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He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
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