I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
