We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
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