Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
