Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
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