You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
