I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
one might say we're banned from that church
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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