Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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