He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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