i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
