arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
