i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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