The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
