If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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