she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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