There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
