i was born a porn star she said
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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