got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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