Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
