I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Randomize
