maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize