I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
