Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
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