The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
