Swine flu. Run for my life!
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
