I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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