Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Randomize
