Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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