dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize