I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
