Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize
