So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
