i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
