Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Randomize
