i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
