I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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