I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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