so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
farters have to be the big spoon...
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
