There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
When are your genitals available?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
