My boss' voice literally gives me gas
its not stalking. its research.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
