I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
