It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
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she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
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I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
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