I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
