Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
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