so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
