Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize