Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
