Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
