ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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