we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
