I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Randomize
