but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
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