It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Randomize
